We are a generation of cowards.

We live behind a mask. A “person” whose self we fabricate. A false self we refine and tinker with until we remove all our flaws. Therefore presenting ourselves how we want to be seen. Without our scars, tears and hardships. We complete discard any pain or trauma. Our struggle, who we are in the darkness when we are alone with our thoughts, is veiled. Veiled by the desperate attempt for validation. If we present a perfect version of ourselves, we will gain approval from others. Right? Then maybe we won’t have to face the crippling pain we feel. We can bury it deep inside us, never letting it see the light of day. It is always there. That fear that we are never good enough. We blindly follow and adore our peers “perfect” lives while striving with all our might to make ours reach up to that unreachable standard. We fool ourselves, we can’t. So, we fake it. We fake smiles. We fake our hobbies. We fake our friendships. We fake our job status. We fake achievements. We try to become so many things, but never gaining any skills. We define ourselves by our image. Our self-worth is determined by how we appear. Doing so, we forget who we truly are.

What if, we break this cycle. What if we show the world our fears and our demons. What if we show how inadequate we are. Maybe then we can acknowledge that we all have pain inside. We all are struggling to exist on this crazy, fucked up world. This is not a competition. This is a journey we are all on together. We need each other. I need you, and you need me. Not the all pleasing, impressive facade of me. The real, frighting, messed up, scared shit-less me. Because, if we see what others go through, we know we can do it too. Courage doesn’t exist on it’s own. The fuel of courage is the fear it self. To push through the fear of what we find when we break ourselves open is the only way we will ever become the person we NEED to be. I need to see it can be done. We all need to see we aren’t alone in our struggle. This is the real world and how it works. Come live it with me.


Ego says, “Once everything falls into place, I’ll feel peace.” Spirit says, “Find your peace, then everything will fall into place.”

-Marianne Williamson

bringing and ringing 2K14

A new mile marker has been reached. Bringing no resolution, only questions.

Have I really come this far?                                  Am I really free?                                                              
Was life lost or gained in the past year?                                 Will I ever be sure of the current state of my life?

                                      Am I destined for a life of mystery, not only to others, but also to myself?

With accomplishment, comes doubt. With freedom, comes responsibility. With choice, comes self-doubt.

That moment isn’t here yet. That moment of clarity when I fully see the path in front of me. I can’t wait for it to come. Life is rushing by furiously. If I hesitate, I lose. I lose the chance to be swept away. To lose control of myself and let my purpose fully engulf me. 

I don’t have all the answers and I am beginning to believe I am not supposed to.